Dinner Party Diplomat T-Shirts

"Oh God, here they come-act green."

"She's a Democrat and he's a Republican so refrain from political talk if you want access to the hors d'oevres."

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

When in Rome...

"I can't take you anyplace nice!"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"Gesundheit!"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."