Dinner Party Diplomat Gifts

"Oh God, here they come-act green."

"She's a Democrat and he's a Republican so refrain from political talk if you want access to the hors d'oevres."

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

When in Rome...

"I can't take you anyplace nice!"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Rump roast?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Gesundheit!"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'