Dinner Time Diplomat Gifts

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

'Wow! A big cardboard box!' - 'Target sighted! Engage 'stealth mode'' - 'Your dinner's ready.'

"It's blank!!"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

Screen Time at the Dining Table

Nuclear Families

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'