Dining Room Diplomat Gifts

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

Screen Time at the Dining Table

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"