Dinner Diplomacy T-Shirts

Woman Bored at Dinner

"You owe me five bucks."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

Chick in noodle soup.

Nuclear Families

'All right, I agree with you.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

Screen Time at the Dining Table

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.