Diplomatic Dinner Host T-Shirts

Table Discussion

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

Attila demands Italy and Switzerland. Keep Switzerland but give him the boot.

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

Adios "Mexico"!

Nuclear Families

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

Screen Time at the Dining Table

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

It may not be correct to call it another, 'Cold War'...but a new 'Cold Front' has moved in.

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."