Farmer Humor Lover Gifts

The Scarecrow and the Wife.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Milking the Cow.

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Static cling."

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"I'm an enigma!"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

A Tongue Stud.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

Grassy breath?

I'm WAAAY beyond Kinder Surprise!

'I LOVE YOU GUYS!' 'She's been drinking again!'

'Thanks girls: Boy it's cold today!'

'She says her stomachs ache.'

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.