Farm Festivity Fan Gifts

Christmas Cows

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Santa does a keg stand.

Yoyo sheep

"I love these old decorations!"

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

Person carrying balloons and plants.

Meet Santa's entourage

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'