Fans Of Innuendo Gifts

"So, the rumors are true. He is faster than a speeding bullet."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Hollywood Sign Developers

Life is for the birds.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

Unemotional Support Animal

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Stairlift around cliff face.

End the Winter Blues

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"She's a miniature."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Stormy weather

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."