Lovers Of Humorous Misunderstandings Gifts

"Do you keep stationery here?"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

"My guess it's guacamole."

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

'So you are a writer?'

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

"There's the evidence of our mouse problem!"

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

The crown

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'It was my late grandmother's. She would've wanted you to have it.'

"The cod's off, but you can have whale and chips."

'Big Tony said I'll be sleeping with the fishes. I think he's gonna take me to an aquarium!'

"You forget sometimes how much football owes to the dance."

'This one here would probably be best for you; It prefers partial shade, needs little water and grows best in esoteric single-panel cartoons.'

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

Village People Auditions.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I haven't even told you my safe word yet!"

"So, the rumors are true. He is faster than a speeding bullet."

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

"I'm a freelance radiologist."

'I'm addicted to being against drugs!'

'There's no easy way to tell you this Mr.Lymtop...But i'm afraid you have an inoperable brain tuna.'

'Your toilet isn't working!! Can you hold?'

"D'you know I believe you're right - there isn't any water in here!"

'I drink to remember.'