Fans Of Innuendo Mugs

"So, the rumors are true. He is faster than a speeding bullet."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Life is for the birds.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Unemotional Support Animal

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Stairlift around cliff face.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

End the Winter Blues

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"She's a miniature."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

Stormy weather

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."