Ironic Humor Aficionados Gifts

'You and your stupid hybrid getaway car!'

Quitting smoking isn't easy!

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"They're comfortable."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Unemotional Support Animal

Stairlift around cliff face.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Multi-Generational Books

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"She wishes to range free!"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.