Fan Of The Bizarre Gifts

"What a way to go."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"He was a sea rescue."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Now you can send it."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

Operation.

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

Magnet at scrapyard

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

The Bonvoy Age...

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"My all-time favorite rock group? That would be The Grateful Dead."

The Hypnotato,

Trapeze artists commuting

"Is really wet, here!"

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.