Family Structure Gifts

'They like to call it 'parenting,' but it's just an outmoded seniority system.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Cry babies.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Licensed Therapist

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

The Baby Walker

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'Ahhh...'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.