Family Relationships Gifts

"First, I did things for my parents' approval, then I did things for my parents' disapproval, and now I don't know why I do things."

"Your sister got another promotion."

'I hate you Dad! All you've ever done is throw your time and love at me - you've never given me enough money.'

'It's not you I have a problem with, Felton ? it's your mother.'

'Just wait till it's my turn to make long-term care decisions for you!'

(I can't ever forgive my parents.) (I, on the other hand, am profoundly grateful to them.)

"Let me see what my mother wants — aside from attention."

'Used to be cute as a button. Now he's just a pain in the button.'

I sue negligent children!

"I put them up after the divorce so that he knows his father is still part of his life."

"When I think about my mom, it hurts here."

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"The penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law..."

'Why complain? I wish I had a big sister who'd pass on all her gear to me!'

"I could never please my father. Whenever I did something he didn't approve of, he'd threaten to go public."

'Dad, will you tell me about the prat falls of dating?'

"For heaven's sake, Melissa, she's my mother. I can't tell her to leave."

''In order!' You've met my relatives! I want it left in disorder!'

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"I hope you're not going to let your parents pass by without speaking to them."

"I've been thinking --- it might be good for Andrew if he could see you cry once in a while."

Introducing Guiltpressure.

Twig! That book's not for you! What's the problem? It calls modern romance boring. We shouldn't be afraid of a broken heart. There is collateral damage. If you run off and get your heart broken

Why do I have to talk to Teddy? Because I talked to Twig about the facts of life. I was quite effective, too! How do you know? It's obvious. She's 15 and not pregnant! The fact she doesn't have a boyfriend might be even more effective.

Baby Eric and Donald

"There were so many things I wished my father would have talked to me about when I was your age, but I'd rather not discuss them."

"My sister will be down in a minute. In the meantime here's some photos of her in big underpants when she had the flu."

Visitors around a sickbed

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"You're turning into your mother."

"Oh no! It's my mother! Oh no! It's my mother!"

"That was great, Glen. Now, say the same thing to my mother."

"Honey, I forgot my password hint answer. Which plague did my mother compare you to?"