Family Member Gifts

"Surprise!"

"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

Hanukkah tree

"Let me guess -- first child?"

Surrounded by 'wellwishers' Alan makes a steady recovery.

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

Pet and Animal Companion

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

"One day Son all this will be yours."

'He's resting comfortably.'

'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'

'We are communicating better but we are still not out of woods.'

"Hollow - just as I've always suspected."

'It's not gifts I want, but someone who listens.'

'Grandpa's at that wonderful age when he can't remember if he already gave me my allowance.'

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

Kriten, Kriten and Kriten Enterprises.

"He was doing well at first, but then he started drifting in and out of health coverage."

'It's the Executor of my Grandfathers will - I've been cut off without a scent.'

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

December to January.

"I wish I'd started therapy at your age."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Jumping Man

"Every family has one weird relative - if you don't know who it is, then it's probably you."

Things to whine about: 'I'm making a list of my pet peeves.'

Brad doesn't know what to do with himself this time of year. He's lost between snowblowing and lawnmowing.

"No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting."

'Yeah, but look at the money we saved by your acting as your own attorney.'

"Paying for a DNA test will be worth it if I find better relatives."

Eat drink and be merry!

"That get-well card we sent certainly was a waste of money."

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

Cat says to lazy cat: 'Are you aware that sedentary lifestyle is now the number one killer, ahead of curiosity?'

'A little 'fade out' music, please.'