Close Family Member Gifts

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

You are not forgotten!

"I haven't told her about the recession...it'll only upset her."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Shepherd and eurydice

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Licensed Therapist

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"I didn't spark joy."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

Very Difficult Conversations

Dancing Doctor

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"Little help?"

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Cardiac Recovery.

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."