Close Relatives Gifts

Potato Famine (somebody didn't make enough mashed potatoes)

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Children's Party

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

Young Gums

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Mime Baby

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

Stockwell's day

Tongue in the ear...

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

It was a good idea to let the kids bring their friends...

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'Home haircuts for the family portrait.'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

You are not forgotten!

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

Remembering His Marbles

'Well how about rocking 'partly' around the clock then?'