Close Family Friend Gifts

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Holding hands

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Balloon Kids

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Senior Jeopardy!

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"He's only energetic on sunny days."

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Young Gums