Modern Family Member Gifts

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

"Son, it's time we talked about online privacy."

"This has been fun, Dad, but I need to spend more quality time with my smartphone."

"There's nothing t be afraid of. I'm sure there's Wi-Fi under your bed."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Licensed Therapist

The Baby Walker

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Ahhh...'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Impressing dad.