Family Tree Gifts

"Mum, please, tell me I take after your side the family."

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

Wake up, Twig! There's a new girl on the bus. Who? Finally! Someone from my own gene pool. Congrats, Miss Tully. So?...Who is this new bossy, opinionated loudmouth? Different pool.

How did you get the name Twig? My mom said I was the first twig off the family tree. It stuck. West Fester High School. Do you get weird reactions? Yeah. But don't you get weird reactions to Ingrid? What's weird about being named after my German granny? Umm...I'm not supposed to be surprised, am I? Not if you're named after a tree.

Are you online, Nana? Of course! I've been online for decades!

'I swear, everyday you get a little bit more like your father's, father's, father's, father's, father's, father.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Ahhh...'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Impressing dad.

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'He has your nose and my ears.'