Family Genealogy Gifts

"And those, I believe, are my stepchildren."

I heard Rudy was asking everyone about their earliest memories. He was, but he got distracted and forgot about it. That's a shame. I was hoping he'd get around to me. I have the oddest "earliest memory" and I wanted to share it. It's just as well, I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years. Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell father the potted plant was actually J. Edgar Hoover. It's always wise

'So far, so good. I've got Mom's hairstyle, Grandpa's eyebrows and with some luck, I'll get Daddy's block of shares.'

Birds family

'My goodness! Doesn't she look like her father?'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

Several generations live together in Cuba

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Family DNA

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Changes at home

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."