Family Member With A Pet Dog Gifts

"Today's lecture is on loyalty."

'I love this web TV, and so user friendly.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

A large leaf falling on a dog

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Super Dog'

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Don't even think about it."

"Your love gives me strength."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

Chasebook

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

Dog History

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

Homemade dog biscuits.

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'Vet clinic? I'd like to make an appointment for a physical. It's been seven years.'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"