Family Lineage Lover Gifts

And remember son, never take your grandfather's picture down from the boardroom - it's bugged.

'It's ok Percy, great Grandma Gertrude is much nicer than she looks...'

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'I inherited therefore I am'

'One day son, all this will be theirs'.'

'Someday, Son, this will all be your problem.'

'Of course, we're family-owned & operated in India.'

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'You really have little choice in the matter, Son -- you're a Bramwell, and we Bramwells have always been pompous asses.'

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

Genealogical picture of Mr. Punch.

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

"We're already wondering what her legacy might be."

'In a surprise move today, the Kennedy family applied for statehood.'

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

Have you even thought of having children, Randy? Of course. I come from a long line of perfect specimens. Each successive generation is more charming, more virile, more irresistible than the last. HOJ. Logic dictates that I am not the end result, I am but a link in the evolutionary chain of Randies. I must reproduce eventually, for the sake of all mankind. How about you? I come from a long line of corporate overlords, each greedier than the last ...

"I don't want to be an alarmist, but there's a dumpster in the driveway."

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

"His DNA analysis results came back. Turns out he's not even Irish."

'Your father just needs the will to live-tell him you're ready to take over the family business.'

'One day son, all this will not be yours.'