Family Dynamics Researcher Gifts

conversation in a bowl of nuts. That's unfortunate, but not unusual. All of us come from broken homes.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Relationship Warning Lights

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Children's Party

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."