Family Dynamics Enthusiast Gifts

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

'I want you to write on the blackboard 100 times: 'I will not make fun of a classmate just because...'

'I can't move in with my parents. They moved in with my grandparents.

'I'm not sure that this degree of competition is entirely healthy.'

'Just wait until your mother gets home.'

"You'd better ask your grandparents about that, son - my generation is very uncomfortable talking about abstinence."

Parenting manual.

The psychologist suggests you choose your own punishment. So, do you want your mouth washed out with bar or liquid soap?'

'My backpack would be lighter if I weren't carrying all my parents hopes and dreams.'

'Don't you realize, Jason, that when you throw furniture out of the window and tie your sister to a tree, you make Mommy and Daddy very sad.'

"Your sister got another promotion."

'Son, you are quite simply the dumbest person I have ever met. I mean that constructively.'

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

"You never take any responsibility!"

"Act your birth order!"

1651: Cromwell bans Christmas

"Sorry to break it to you like this, son, but you're not adopted."

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

Eve's Mom

'Why can't we be a one parent family?'

'I think we all agree that Randall has some anger issues.'

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the ones who have to live with you.'

"You can't just move out and leave me here with your father"

'Poor Olivia doesn't get very many birthday presents -- she still lives with both her original parents.'

Parents teacher conference.

"My wife has decided to divorce my mother!"

"Mommy and Daddy still love you, but we're going to try living thirteen inches apart for a while."

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

'It's making me happy.'

'...Over millions of years the male brain has evolved to help us to find a mate, get a meal, and ward-off hostile takeovers.'

'Happy 'Respect Your Parents Day' now take your card and shut up.'

"You moving back in hasn't been a picnic for us, either. I can't wait until you have adult children of your own."

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."