Family Dynamics Enthusiast Gifts

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

'I want you to write on the blackboard 100 times: 'I will not make fun of a classmate just because...'

'I can't move in with my parents. They moved in with my grandparents.

'I'm not sure that this degree of competition is entirely healthy.'

'Just wait until your mother gets home.'

"You'd better ask your grandparents about that, son - my generation is very uncomfortable talking about abstinence."

Parenting manual.

The psychologist suggests you choose your own punishment. So, do you want your mouth washed out with bar or liquid soap?'

'Don't you realize, Jason, that when you throw furniture out of the window and tie your sister to a tree, you make Mommy and Daddy very sad.'

'My backpack would be lighter if I weren't carrying all my parents hopes and dreams.'

"Your sister got another promotion."

"Act your birth order!"

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

1651: Cromwell bans Christmas

"You never take any responsibility!"

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the ones who have to live with you.'

Eve's Mom

'Poor Olivia doesn't get very many birthday presents -- she still lives with both her original parents.'

"You can't just move out and leave me here with your father"

'Why can't we be a one parent family?'

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

"I have to be getting back - I'm the glue that holds my parents' marriage together."

"My wife has decided to divorce my mother!"

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

"Mommy and Daddy still love you, but we're going to try living thirteen inches apart for a while."

"I need a gift for my new daughter-in-law... ou know, the one who stone my son from me!"

Wife:'He has the Milkman's eyes.'

"This is Father's Day, not Father Issues Day."

'This is my step ladder - I never knew my REAL ladder.'

'Do you think this 'Having Two Dads' thing will ever catch on?'

'My parents fight a lot.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Parents teacher conference.