Family Dynamics Buff Gifts

"Family Thanksgiving dinners are so much worse in the afterlife."

Come on—it's Hell—of course your in-laws are here.

Working late. There's leftover trash in the garbage can. Love, Mom.

"He's at the age where he's a little embarrassed to be out with a parent."

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

"Act your birth order!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

'I try to run my family like a democracy, but what I really need is a line-item veto.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"