Family Dynamics Enthusiasts Gifts

"No, honey, divorce is not the same as deleting an app."

Modern Empty Nesters

Cold War Stories

Helicopter Parents Support Group: 'If everyone could just take a seat!'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

'Sorry son, no pocket money. I've only a minimum wage.'

'But darling, if you really wanted to kick him out of the nest, you should have done it before he became bigger and stronger than you...'

"Of course your parents embarrass you. That's what parents are for."

"Obviously, I'm adopted..."

"We should support people who do a good job at whatever they do."

Family Portrait

"She got custody of the kids."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Having nannies really changes you."

A child as a pet substitute.

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'