Family Dynamics Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"No, honey, divorce is not the same as deleting an app."

Modern Empty Nesters

Cold War Stories

Helicopter Parents Support Group: 'If everyone could just take a seat!'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

I'm going upstairs! Me too. I hate mom's book group. Talk about annoying chat rooms!

Don't let a few nasty girls get to you, honey. They aren't ruining your life! Ignore them! They aren't worth worrying about. I know. Very mature advice, Ms. Tree. If I get my hands on those wretched little vixens, I'll

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

'Sorry son, no pocket money. I've only a minimum wage.'

'But darling, if you really wanted to kick him out of the nest, you should have done it before he became bigger and stronger than you...'

"Of course your parents embarrass you. That's what parents are for."

"Obviously, I'm adopted..."

"We should support people who do a good job at whatever they do."

Family Portrait

"She got custody of the kids."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

"Having nannies really changes you."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

He wanted a different one.

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

A child as a pet substitute.

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'