Family Dynamics Explorers Gifts

"The book wasn't intended to hurt my stepmother - it was to help myself and others like me begin to heal."

'I told you your brother was full of it.'

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"Your morbid curiosity about the afterlife is scaring the children."

"Honey, I forgot my password hint answer. Which plague did my mother compare you to?"

"It's true. For years I've secretly had a second blended family."

I've been told to fear the empty nest syndrome, but I'd kind of like to find out for myself.

"Everytime we have an argument you gotta drag my mother into it!"

"I don't think I like this adultescent phase."

"My daughter is really mad at me because I violated her privacy with an ill-considered question and didn't take into account that she's not a little kid any more..."

"Here's my report card. . . I'll be staying with friends for a few days!"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Polygamists' Picnic

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."