Family Dynamic Analysts Gifts

Common Core Family Therapy

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

Egg shells in the disposer! You put egg shells in the disposer! Who told you to put egg shells in the disposer? I told you NOT to put egg shells in the disposer!

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

He wanted a different one.

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

"Having nannies really changes you."

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

I think it's time he left home.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."