Family Dynamic Analysts T-Shirts

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

Egg shells in the disposer! You put egg shells in the disposer! Who told you to put egg shells in the disposer? I told you NOT to put egg shells in the disposer!

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

I think it's time he left home.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'