Family Dynamics Examiner T-Shirts

Alcoholism and family

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

I think it's time he left home.'

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'