Family Confrontations Gifts

'No daughter of mine is marrying a good-for-nothing banker.'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"We need to have a serious talk."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

"So which bit do you think was 'nature' and which 'nurture'?"

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'I'm running away from home.'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"Jack and Nina's concern grew when their son, James, confided in them that his imaginary friend was, in fact, a short-tempered snapping turtle."

Bad Heir Day

Cut the small talk-I'm almost seven.

Family Feud

"Mommy and Daddy are arguing again."

"Your sobrino sure sounds happy...all because he kissed a girl?"

'What kinda nuts are we, Dad, rightwing or left?'

"We are fighting so much I'm coming to live with you again."

The Very Last Dinosaur

It's time again for my 'State-of-the-family' address.

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

'I can't make it tonight. I have to attend my mother's lecture series on responsibility.'

"You moving back in hasn't been a picnic for us, either. I can't wait until you have adult children of your own."

"Baldo, a young man like you might have a lot of questions...about feelings, emotions...not knowing what is right and wrong. Remember, mi'jo...I'm here if you need me."

"Dad, how much does it cost to get married?" "I don't know, son. But it's less than a divorce."

"When I was your age, I was fifteen."

'My parents had the decency to die at the right age!'

"Must you tell us what our daily share of the national debt is every time we sit down to dinner?"