Family Squabbler Gifts

War Games

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

"First break since 2008."

'Save us!'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

Baby On Boardroom

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

Balancing Family and Work

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - You'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"How she's able to manage a career and still juggle her family, I'll never know."

Work/Personal Life Balance Beam

Beyond Dante

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

'Don't wait up, I'm going out on field research for about 3 years!'

If like worked like Baseball you could be traded to another family.

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'