Pet Squabbler Gifts

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'Fetch.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Super Dog'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Cat Show

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

'And this is scraps.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

K9 Literati.

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

Pet Pony

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'