Family Conflict Gifts

"Mommy and Daddy are arguing again."

Family Feud

'They've never had any respect for their father.'

"We are fighting so much I'm coming to live with you again."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"We need to have a serious talk."

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."

"Your sister got another promotion."

'Just wait till it's my turn to make long-term care decisions for you!'

"You were always my favorite to guilt-trip."

Daughter/psychiatrist

Biblical Teenager

How were the academic departments on the campuses you visited? Dad!!! Stop stressing me!! College hunting is hard enough without you prying into every detail of my life! Arrghh!! How were the drama departments?

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"I'm sorry, Tom... but you don't Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if it only when you're going to see your inlaws."

"The penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law..."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

'I'm running away from home.'

Introducing Guiltpressure.

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"Yes, son, it's true. You were adopted."

"That was generous."

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

A bit of Tennyson for you Dad: 'In spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.'

(I can't ever forgive my parents.) (I, on the other hand, am profoundly grateful to them.)

"Not at the table."