Family Feud Gifts

Bad Heir Day

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"I'm sorry, Tom... but you don't Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if it only when you're going to see your inlaws."

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

'I'm running away from home.'

'How should I know why my daughter has not spoken to me in over a month, stupid!'

'Excluding our little granddaughter who called me 'orrible old smellypops!'

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

"Excluding our little granddaughter who calls me 'horrible old smellypops!'"

'Your Honor, this is a hostile witness. She's my mother-in-law!'

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

When Grandma's on your side....

Thanksgiving Smackdown

'Your second cousin won a Nobel Prize in physics, and you don't know how gravity works?'

"Tom..Tom, you promised not to flame my parents..."

"Mommy and Daddy are arguing again."

Family Feud

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"We are fighting so much I'm coming to live with you again."

War Games

"I'm gonna be an artist!"

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

"Do you have a card for the second step mother of my third wife's brother on her cousins side?"

'No, sorry, I wouldn't even lend money to my own mother. Well, you know your family best.'

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"