Family Argument Gifts

'I'm running away from home.'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'We need to talk.'

"So which bit do you think was 'nature' and which 'nurture'?"

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"Jack and Nina's concern grew when their son, James, confided in them that his imaginary friend was, in fact, a short-tempered snapping turtle."

Marry one wife, get another one free - 'It's our new incentive for marriage.'

"Daddy, which group of economists did you support during the recession?"

"I love the way you make me rethink my commitment to family values."

Bad Heir Day

You Must Be This Tall - To Have An Opinion

"We are fighting so much I'm coming to live with you again."

It's time again for my 'State-of-the-family' address.

Family Feud

"Mommy and Daddy are arguing again."

'What kinda nuts are we, Dad, rightwing or left?'

"Your sobrino sure sounds happy...all because he kissed a girl?"

"Must you tell us what our daily share of the national debt is every time we sit down to dinner?"

"Baldo, a young man like you might have a lot of questions...about feelings, emotions...not knowing what is right and wrong. Remember, mi'jo...I'm here if you need me."

"Dad, how much does it cost to get married?" "I don't know, son. But it's less than a divorce."

"When I was your age, I was fifteen."

War Games

'My parents had the decency to die at the right age!'

...at least I won the bet with my precosious ballet dancing Granddaughter!

'No daughter of mine is marrying a good-for-nothing banker.'

"So, it's back to school! I remember when I was your age."

"Some day I’d like to raise the cost of living."

"Spare me the commentary."

"Daddy, what did you do during the Coronavirus?"

"We're giving her my name and his name, but we're not going to hyphenate."