Faithful Investor Gifts

'Hello, Dial-A-Prayer?...Buy? Sell? What would Jesus do?'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Monk Prompt

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'Pop-up Bible.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Monks play conkers with crucifix

I have a dream.

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

The church of our lady of wall street.

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

Decisions a Pope makes

"But how many followers do you have?"