Faithful Funnies Gifts

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."

They're short of staff!

"The results of the church volunteer drive are in. We have 27 non-responders, 17 no shows, 23 incorrect contact info provided, 31 changes of heart, and 178 are still praying about it."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

How's my sermon. . .

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

'Even More Disciples'

'What do you call money that slides off the collection plate?'

Jesus breaks the bread.

"Hey! These are still good!!"

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

"Let's start a small group."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

'Fathers Day.'

Cross Umbrella

Holy phone

Preaching from the New Western Consumerist Version of the Bible.

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'Is this seat saved?' Fundamentalism Gone Awry.

Cheesus

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'