Faithful Funnier Gifts

'Your looking a little peepy today.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

The Assumption of Mary

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

"It was a little preachy."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

Eucharist

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"Say AHHH...MEN."

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"

"Let's start a small group."