Faithful Funnier Gifts

'Your looking a little peepy today.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

"It was a little preachy."

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

Eucharist

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"Let's start a small group."

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"