Faithful Funny Gifts

"Well, you certainly were right about the power of prayer, dear!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Christian and Born again Christian...

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

The Assumption of Mary

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

Eucharist

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"It was a little preachy."

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'