Faithful Comedian Gifts

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

Jesus sends the demons into the herd of pigs who jump into the lake, thus performing the miracle of turning water into "swine".

Peter denies Jesus three times.

"What if the pushy use it all UP first?"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

St. Elmo's fired.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Hey! These are still good!!"

The Assumption of Mary

Lesbians for Christ

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Applause

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"It was a little preachy."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

"Say AHHH...MEN."

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"