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'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"What if the pushy use it all UP first?"

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

St. Elmo's fired.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Hey! These are still good!!"

Lesbians for Christ

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Applause

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"It was a little preachy."

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'