Faithful Drizzler Gifts

Religious Rain

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Priest

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Monk Prompt

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Parachuting bishop.

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

Jesus Christ

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"The buck really stops with him."