Faithful Drizzler Gifts

Religious Rain

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Priest

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Parachuting bishop.

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Jesus Christ

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"The buck really stops with him."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."