Faithful Drinker Gifts

'-and you'll see him in church the day he sees you in the Red Lion.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Happy Hour

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Caption Contest TK

Monk Prompt

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Spiritual Lives Matter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'Pop-up Bible.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"