Faithful Drinker Pillows

'-and you'll see him in church the day he sees you in the Red Lion.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Happy Hour

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Caption Contest TK

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Monk Prompt

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'Pop-up Bible.'

Men's Prayer Group.

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"