Faithful Conversationalist Pillows

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"If your god wants me to believe in him, he should exist."

"Thanks, and you have a nice day too."

Why we need poetry. . .

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

Heart To Heart

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

Statue of Christopher Columbus

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

Social butterfly

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

"Lord, if my prayers are pleasing to Thee, please confirm by fax."

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

'I usually say what I think.'. . .'I usually think what I say.'

'This is God I Missed you in church last Sunday.'

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

'I said what I thought, then I apologized when I started losing advertisers. What does that make me?'

Like a fine wine, some me improve with age.

"Man cannot live on bread alone - he needs a bit of crumpet too."

"Emotionally he's a child and physically he's a child."

'You don't have to worry about using up your minutes.'

'Answer me! It's your mother! Don't give me that vow of silence!'

'...and you can read the rest of it on my blog.'

My mother was right about you. I guess I can take that as a compliment as long as I don't ask, "How so?"