Committed Conversationalist Pillows

'Hi, I think I'm doing OK this time.'

Why we need poetry. . .

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Statue of Christopher Columbus

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Prisoner speech

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

Social butterfly

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

Wine and Books Bar.

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'I usually say what I think.'. . .'I usually think what I say.'

"Roger might be just right for you. He plans his entire day around the wild thing, too."

Like a fine wine, some me improve with age.

'I know about the birds, but what about the bees?'

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

"Do you play?"

"Man cannot live on bread alone - he needs a bit of crumpet too."

'Nine out of ten doctors think excessive drinking is bad for your health.'

"I have a great weakness for men who make me laugh. So go ahead!"